Are You Caring for Yourself or Avoiding Yourself?
You see it everywhere. Articles, reels, and videos telling you how to incorporate self-care into your daily routine and countless examples of things to do. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge advocate for self-care, but before you jump into all the things you “should” be doing, it’s important to take a deeper look into all those recommendations. Are you engaging in self-care or self-avoidance?
Have you ever had a rough day and just want to escape it all? If you’re human, your answer is likely yes. That advertisement on your phone with the discount to the spa seems so much more inviting and so does that bottle of wine chilling in the refrigerator. Maybe it’s scrolling through Amazon and treating yourself to something. These mini escapes can feel so good and so tempting everytime life becomes overwhelming. In fact, all of these behaviors are often encouraged in society as a way to “get through the day a little easier”. We all have different ways of coping with the stressors of life and if you’ve done any of these, do not feel guilty. Guilt will only compound the root of the problem.
However, I do want to invite you to take a deeper look at yourself with loving curiosity.
Are you caring for yourself or are you avoiding yourself?
Self-avoidance is suppressing, ignoring, or avoiding something that you perceive as difficult. This could be your emotions, a task you need to accomplish, or a difficult conversation. With self-avoidance, there is a sense of resistance. Self-avoidance often is accompanied with short-term reward, but long-term negative consequences, as the difficult things you are avoiding build over time.
Self-care is honoring your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. It is being intentional about aligning your behaviors with what is deeply meaningful to you. It leaves you feeling more energized, connected with yourself, and closer to peace within yourself. Self-care is accepting all that is you and giving yourself space and freedom to feel any emotions that arise without judgment. Self-care involves consistent commitment to yourself to handle things that may feel difficult in the short-term, but has long-term gains.
Self-care has two sides. It can be taking time to go for a walk, taking space to feel your emotions, playing with your kids, or being mindful when you drink your tea.
However, the other side of self-care that is not talked about as widely are the small consistent and sometimes tough decisions that you make for yourself. These are the decisions that tell yourself you are worthy of greatness in your life.
These are the early mornings when your alarm goes off and you get out of bed because you are worth it.
These are the times you advocate for yourself because you are worth it.
These are the times you put in the extra work to accomplish the big goal you have because you are worth it.
These are the times you say no to things or people who drain you because you are worth it.
These are the times you seek out support from others because you are worth it.
These are the times you take a stand on what you are willing or no longer willing to accept because you are worth it.
When you are truly caring for yourself, you are elevating your self-worth. You are aware of what your needs are and you are taking courageous steps toward unapologetically meeting them. Spa days and shopping are nice, but if you truly want to care for yourself, do the things that might feel hard now so that your future self will thank you for it.
You are worth it!